Wednesday, March 24, 2010

My Newest Relationship

I have a lot of great relationships in my life. I have an incredible one with my parents (finally, now that I'm not a totally self-absorbed teenager), an super awesome one with Evan and his family, and I adore my friends. Honestly, I am very lucky.

There was, however, one relationship that I was hesitant to begin. I have been telling myself I need to start this relationship, and I always found excuses. Money, time, and downright denial were my main ones.

But, I've finally bitten the bullet and jumped into this relationship with everything I have. Excuses be damned.

I'm talking about the gym here. I joined a Bally's Total Fitness that is on my way home from work. That way, I figured, I would feel guilty driving by it if I didn't go. I don't do well with guilt, so this was a good strategy.

In college, I went to the gym pretty regularly. Especially freshman year, when I was dating a guy who was on the crew team who was in spectacular shape. I felt like I needed to keep up and so I spent literally 10+ hours at the gym a week, and I hardly ate anything. I dropped to about 112 pounds that year, and while I looked "great," I felt awful. If I wasn't working out, I was sleeping, because I didn't have any energy to do anything else. At one point, I was eating 600 calories a day and running 6 or so miles a day, plus weights.

Dumb, I know, but at that point in my life, I was so insecure about myself, that I figured that if I looked the best I could, I could at least feign confidence.

The funny thing, though, is that I never thought I looked good enough. I didn't realize at the time that confidence (cliche warning) comes from within, and isn't something you can chase after on the track. Even at my thinnest and most fit, I didn't like myself.

And then I met Evan. Evan, who loves me for me. Who loves me when I am happy, grumpy, and being a dork. Who loves me for loving elephants, being uber picky about socks, singing loudly in the shower, and best of all, supports me in absolutely everything I do. He didn't care if I missed a day at the gym, either, but those days turned into weeks, and while my self-confidence grew, so did my waistline.

So now, I want to feel as good about myself on the outside as I do on the inside. And this time, I'm doing it safely. I'm going three times a week to the gym, and planning to take a lot of walks besides. I've started cutting back on my portions and made better choices, and I've told myself that if I slip, that I won't get down on myself and drown myself in self-pity and ice cream. Instead, I'll start again the next day.

So wish me luck, guys. As that one guy in the movie Casablanca said, "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

Sunday, March 14, 2010

We have the coolest cat ever!

Here is our cat, Newton, playing fetch. You just have to love lazy Sunday mornings!


Monday, March 8, 2010

"Hey, I put some new shoes on..."

Usually, for Valentine's Day, I receive some flowers, or candy, and a card. There's nothing wrong with that, of course, but this year, Evan out did himself.

He got me a pair of Vibram Five Fingers!

You see, we read this book Born to Run, a few months ago, and the shoes were mentioned as part of a new, barefoot running movement. They originally started as yacht shoes, but runners started using them once they realized that they didn't need the arch support or super cushy heels. Also, they've been reported to lessen arch, heel, and Achilles pain, which I've had problems with for years.

I know, I know. Looking at me now, you'd never guess I used to run. A lot. I ran every day, five to eight miles a day, and I totally bought into the hype of having to have all sorts of cushioning and support. I even went out and bought a pair of Nike running shoes that were made to help with my over-pronation. After reading the book, it's not a big surprise that three weeks into running with the super-shoes, I developed a severe case of plantar fasciitis, and had trouble with heel pain. I was icing my arches every day, and popping tons of Advil, just to run a few miles. I couldn't go more than two miles without wincing and having to stop to stretch out my arches. Eventually I stopped running altogether, even though I kept eating like I ran eight miles a day and boom, you get the present me.

And, yeah, maybe my form was terrible, or it was the asphalt I was running on, but there's a part of me that believes it was the shoes. Especially because ever since I've started wearing my Vibrams, I haven't had ANY arch pain, heel pain, or pain in my knees. It's a big deal. I wear them everywhere. I've even worn them on short runs around our neighborhood, and there wasn't any pain. There was just that feeling of freedom you get when everything clicks into place as you run.

I know they look weird. I get funny looks and questions all the time, especially from my students, but I just adore these shoes! Forget flowers and candy, I am going to ask for a pair of Vibrams every Valentine's Day!